


Divorce?

by thenonexisting



Series: Stages of a Space Relationship [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Crack, Divorce, F/M, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-01 21:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11494668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenonexisting/pseuds/thenonexisting
Summary: Whilst running for their lives, the Doctor and Clara find themselves stumbling upon the topic of their relationship. And the first stage of any relationship is divorce... right?





	Divorce?

**Author's Note:**

> 1) So, I've started a mini series.
> 
> 2) Apparently my brain decided that everyone needs more cracky twelveclara shenanigans in their life.
> 
> 3) This follows a similar narrative style to 'four rumours and a confirmation'.
> 
> 4) Enjoy! :) (Or not. Your choice.)

 

 

"You're impossible."

"Thank you."

 

"That wasn't a compliment."

 

"Tell that to the next person before they jump into your timestream to save your lives."

"Point taken."

 

"Clever boy."

 

"Seriously, Clara, you can't just threaten to kill the Premier's son."

"We both know my lipstick does not have _that_ capability."

 

"Tell that to Sarah Jane."

 

"What?"

 

"Nothing. Continue justifying your recklessness."

 

"I had no choice, they were going to shoot that poor girl!"

"They could've shot _you_."

"Hasn't stopped you before."

"I can regenerate!"

"You can still die."

 

"I have a duty of care."

 

"Oh, stop being so paternalistic."

"When you stop being so stubborn."

 

"I hate you."

 

"I hate you, too."

"Well, this marriage has clearly broken down. When this all blows over, we're getting a divorce."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm getting joint custody of the TARDIS, by the way, if not full."

"But we're not married!"

"We are so married. We've accidentally gotten space married _at least_ three times on three separate planets."

 

"But-"

 

"Relax. It's a joke, space husband."

"I'm not your space husband and we're certainly not _space_ married. You can't just put space in front of everything, Clara. It doesn't make sense."

"Short form: yes, I can and yes, it does."

 

"There's a long form?"

 

"I'm from Earth, ergo anywhere that we get married that isn't on Earth is in space. Hence, space marriage."

"Pudding brains. So Earth-centric."

"Says the Lord of Time."

"Anyway, you're wrong. It's five."

"Five?"

"Five times. Three were planets, one was a satellite, and the other was a space station."

"You actually remember?"

"I remember a lot of things, Clara."

"But you delete the unimportant things."

"Including every time you put "space" in front of a noun or verb."

"You're deflecting."

"You're digressing. What will it take for you to stop saying we're space married?"

"I stand my ground: divorce."

"Divorce doesn't exist as a concept in at least two of the places we were married!"

"Guess we're stuck being _space_ married then."

"Clara, enough is enough. I've had it with this nonsense."

 

 

 

"Seriously? That's your takeaway from all of this. Me putting space-"

 

 

 

"There's only one solution: we have to go to Earth and get Earth-"  


 

"Doctor, they're coming!"

 

"Don't just stand there, run!"

 

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt from http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/post/161367666053: "Person A takes Person B on an adventure. During said adventure, something bad happens (e.g. imprisoned) and Person B asks for a divorce when this is all over. Person A is confused since they are not married or even in a romantic relationship."


End file.
